The real story of Goku
by DuCksRKooL
Summary: Goku drinking? Gohan smoking pot? Piccolo with a girlfriend? what is happening? Well if you want to find out read this story. (the chapters are really short just to say)
1. Prologue

Do you want to know the real story about dragonball z. well; you are about to find out from the beginning starting with the saiyan saga up to the buu saga.  
  
  
  
*~Prologue~*  
  
It was a breezy day. The wind calm, the trees swaying. Everything was just right it was the perfect day to go outside and play, but instead Gohan was inside studying for school his mom, chichi insisted he have an education while chichi herself never went to school. Gohan watched out the window as his dad was training. He's so cool Gohan thought just then his thoughts were interrupted by his mom's yelling and pestering. "I guess I'll have to wait." Gohan said. 


	2. Chapter 1 Radditz arrives

~~Saiyan saga~~  
  
Chapter 1-Radditz arrives  
  
Wow! What a weird planet. I wonder where my cute little brother can be. I really hope he will join us and I can do his hair. While Radditz was trying to find Goku. Goku went to master Roshi's island with Gohan.  
  
"MASTER ROSHI!!!" Goku called out. Krillin's baldhead popped out of the door. "Hiya Goku" Krillin batted his "how long" eyelashes at Goku. However, Goku was oblivious to Krillin's "hints." While Krillin was trying to give Goku signals of what he wanted Goku for, Bulma was trying to get Krillin to the bathroom with her to do something with her still giving more signals to Krillin. Krillin never noticed Bulma, despite all the gifts he was showered with. Krillin's efforts came to an abrupt end when master Roshi came out. Everyone was staring at master Roshi. He sweatdropped. Silence "cricket cricket" "chirp chirp" "more silence" "more sweatdrops" "still silence" "crickets/grasshoppers get sweatdrops" "now it is scary silence" until oolong yelled out why the hell is it so quiet? 


	3. Chapter 2 Radditz is lost!

~*Chapter 2-Raditz is lost?!*~  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hmm.. I've been like searching for my little bro and he's soooo not here!" Raditz said he was flying high and low for his cute little bro "Ack! I don't have time, and why does this rhyme! Oh what the dickens. I see chickens. Stupid rhyming Dr.suess, I am going to cook his goose. Argh! I like can't get this freak in rhyme out of my head, I guess I can like live with it like instead! Stupid writer is going to die, but to like all my fans I say like hi! Then, Raditz hit his head on a volleyball pole, very hard! (From personal experience-BB) like OH MY GOD! That so hurt like he dickens! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! My scouter is like picking up a high power level it can't be like my little bro I'll go check it out. "Like up, up, up and away we go!" Raditz said as he pulled out a pogo stick from his hair. Instead though he pulled out a rubber duck. He searched through his long hair but with no prevail pulled out an airplane. So, he tried again and again and again after the 100000000000000000000000000000000000! Try, he finally pulled out the pogo stick. By the time he did though, he forgot why he got it out and he put EVERYTHING BACK in. his untamed hair "like oh well" shouted Raditz, and left for the high level leading from awhile ago. 


	4. Chapter 3 Radditz Aquintance

Chapter 3-Radditz aquintance  
  
  
  
  
  
Radditz followed the power reading until he finally reached it. Piccolo was training and did not see Radditz from behind. Radditz was checking out piccolo. Piccolo dropped his turban and bent down to pick it up. While piccolo was picking it up, Radditz stared at his butt. Oh my god he has such a cute ass! Then piccolo saw him and asked who the hell this is? I'm Radditz in a shy way and piccolo thought he had said Radish, but piccolo didn't really care. Radditz asked do you know where my little brother Kakarot is? The only dude I know that looks like you is Goku. Maybe that's like my cute little bro. Uh? *Piccolo sweatdrops* piccolo's heart beats a little faster when he sees "Radish" Smile! What is this I'm feeling! I'm, I'm not sure. So, piccolo shrugged it off. So, what are you doing here? Piccolo asking in a tough way. I'm trying to find my cute bro. Ok? What does your cute little bro look like? He has whack hair like and he has a like cute little tail! That's Goku! Piccolo thinks to himself. "Just curious? What's your.emm.race?" "Oh I'm a like a saiyan!" "Oh" "I've heard of you people before, born stupid but strong and brave!" "Wow, I'm like so flattered" Radditz replied. 


	5. Chapter 4 Gaining Alliance

Chapter 4- Gaining Alliance  
  
  
  
  
  
Radditz takes out an industrial- sized mirror from his hair and stares at himself * five minutes go by* *one hour* *ten hours* afterwards. "Oh look! It was like a false alarm! No zit!" *piccolo falls down anime style* "Argh! You're ego takes up more space than your hair can handle, you stupid oaf." *Radditz giggles* "tee hee!" "You think it's funny?" "Nope I think like you're hilarious!" *piccolo rolls his eyes* *Radditz acting all cute in front of piccolo* *weirdo* piccolo thought *hottie* Radditz thought otherwise. The eye contact lasted for five days. No one blinked moved or ate. Piccolo's eyes twitched like the dickens and Radditz needed to seriously look at a mirror and have a hairbrush at hand. It's been days since he's groomed himself. Until a bird had shit on Radditz. Radditz screamed like a girl and ran to the nearest lake. When Radditz got there piccolo was going to warn him that there were alligators in the lake, but it was too late he was again screaming like a girl. After he fixed his hair and asked piccolo where his bro was. Piccolo said probably at that weird island. 


	6. Chapter 5 Goku drunk?

Chapter 5- Goku drunk?  
  
  
  
  
  
Still Goku had stayed at Master Roshi's house drunk and watching porn with Master Roshi. Now normally Bulma and Krillin would object, but there was something different. (But of course, oolong was watching too. Just to let you know) there was porn for "girls" too. That is why Bulma watched too. Plus, they were all drunk! Then there was a big BOOM!! And it was Radditz and Piccolo. Gohan was outside when they came out. " What a cute little boy" said Radditz "You must be my nephew because you got a tail like me." Then Gohan got mad, called him a gayass, and called out DAD as loud as he could, but Goku was still watching porn and didn't hear Gohan. Then chi chi had come to Master Roshi's to get Goku and Gohan. Once she got there the started yelling for Goku. Goku came out as fast as a speeding bullet. Chi chi started to yell at Goku. Goku had said one word and chi chi could smell the alcohol in his breath. "What the hell are you drinking for I thought you stopped drinking along time ago your setting a fucking bad example for Gohan." "Yah you're setting a fucking bad example for me" Gohan said "Gohan! Don't fuckin say that! I mean Gohan baby please don't say that, pretty please? Okay mom! Whatever you fuckin say! Bye. What do fuckin me bye young man? "I'm just kidding mom your so serious just relax." "Me serious Gohan your kidding me. Now you'll get double the homework." "NO dad do something I'm never going to finish." Goku was still drunk as hell. "Look at the pretty birds" Goku said "WHAT THE FUCK" Gohan whispered 


	7. Chapter 6 Radditz is confused

Sorry my partner and me were too lazy to post anything for a while. Well heres a chapter and I might post another chapter tomorrow so please read and review.  
  
  
  
Chapter 6-Confused Radditz  
  
  
  
Like OH MY GOSH is that my little bro. You are so cute, come here so I can do your hair. OH MY GOSH what happened to you tail. And who the hell is this loud woman? Who the *hic* fuck are yoooooou? *Singsongy voice* my dearest bro. Why are you drunk? *Shock over comes Radditz and everyone else* *silence* *cricket cricket* oh! It runs in the family then! *Everyone except Goku who is scratching his head and Radditz, falls down anime style* ummmmm.. Hic who the hell are you? I told you, you're my bro. You got some drink left well give me some! I want some scotch on the rocks, now! Please? *Sweat drops on Goku* uuh.. Ok, hey you, bitch (chi chi) get this whatever a drink. What are you calling me you bastard? I called you a bitch now go get my bro a drink. Oh yah bro what the hell is your name? My name is like um, Radditz. What did you fucking say? I couldn't fucking hear you. Goku, I swear I will give you an ass whooping once I get my hands on you at home. Mom, what does 'ass whooping' mean? Gohan, dear, don't say that please? For momma okay Gohan, sweetie! Whatever mom. I'll just give you a ass whooping in the future when I know what it means in a whispering voice. While everybody talked, nobody noticed that Piccolo was here. Piccolo was surprised of seeing Goku drunk as hell. Piccolo was flying away when Gohan followed him. Goku. blah blah blah.. Fuck you. blah blah blah (and on and on and on). My mom won't notice I'm gone anyway, Gohan thought. 


	8. Chapter 7 Piccolo's stash of pot

I know there's a lot of errors and stuff my friend and me aren't that good of writers, but please read and review.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 7- piccolo's stash of pot  
  
  
  
  
  
Once piccolo got to a certain part at the mountains, he found all the pot he had got from the drug dealer. He started smoking some weed and that is when Gohan had came. How cool I wish I could smoke some weed. Thought Gohan. I only smoked a cigarette before. Piccolo, Gohan whispered. Unfortunately for Gohan, Piccolo could not hear him. "Hey piccolo", Gohan said a little bit louder. Still with no prevail did piccolo hear him. "Hey you fucking bastard," Gohan shouted so loudly. So loudly that the remains of your ancestors would wake up! What?! Piccolo said startled. *He didn't show he was startled though you like a blank expression* what Gohan? Umm.. Could I have some? You know, let me puff the magic dragon! Just a little try? Piccolo did not hesitate to answer, of course Gohan. How cool thanks. Yelled Gohan. So, they puffed away.  
  
Meanwhile, at master Roshi's.  
  
You mother fucking bastard! I knew I married you because of fucking blind love. blah blah. I should have known better . blah blah.. DAD! The ox king then runs all the way to master Roshi's from chi chi's house *earthquake* DAD! What chi chi dearest? Dad, why did you let me marry this drunk bastard? Huh? Uh, well, chi chi, you insisted that you must marry him right away remember? 


	9. Chapter 8 chi chi's regret

Chapter 8- chi chi's regret  
  
  
  
"No, not really father!?" yelled chi chi. "I do," Goku cried with a hiccup. "We were at that tournament that I won. Damn does were easy people to beat HIC and you told me we had to get married. I did not even know what the hell married meant." "Goku! That's not what fucking happened!" yelled chi chi. "Oh!!!!" Goku said with a confused look. "sometimes I fucking get pissed off at you. You asshole." Said chi chi. "Look whose talking, bitch." Yelled Goku. "Shut up you, or I'll.." "What? Huh? What are you going to do bitch." Said Goku. Then the ox king had separated them and told chi chi we should go. "Fine, but I'm taking Gohan." Yelled chi chi. "Ahhh where did he go?" said Goku. "NO WHERES MY BABY?" screamed chi chi. "Don't worry chi chi I'll *hic* find him." Said Goku. "No you won't you bastard!" yelled chi chi. "he's *hic* my fucking son too you fucking bitch."Yelled Goku. " No he's not, Gohan is my baby. I bet you do not even give a cock a doodle shit about him." said chi chi. *Chi chi starts pacing around* "can you ever shut up he will be all right he is my son." said Goku. Then Goku got dizzy and said what was on his mind. "Forget whatever we did with each other even the times when I fucked you." Chi chi embarrassed and starts yelling at Goku again." I was drunk you bastard." yelled chi chi. "oh really it didn't sound like you were drunk.' Said Goku. *Wink wink* chi chi ignored that and started looking for Gohan. Radditz had drunk about ten gallons already and was getting into a fight with Goku. 


	10. Chapter 9 the most girlish fight ever

Chapter 9- the most girlish fight ever!  
  
  
  
"Like Oh my Gosh *hic* you got the bitches wife every." Said Radditz. "Don't call my wife a bitch I can only call her a bitch you bastard." Yelled Goku. " What did you call me boy?" yelled Radditz. "I called you a bastard," yelled Goku. Then Goku bitch slapped Radditz. "OH MY GOSH you bitch" said Radditz. Then Radditz bitch slapped Goku. While Goku started to cry Radditz had, fell into a puddle of mud and grabbed Goku with him. They started splashing around. Krillin, who was still there, was cheerleading (outfit and pompoms) for Goku. Bulma was hearing Krillin ever so slowly. Master Roshi was watching *sweat drops form* "never will I bring out the drinks again." Said Master Roshi. Then master Roshi mushroom sighs then went back to the house.  
  
Goku had messed up Radditz's hair. Radditz got so mad that he had punched Goku. "OH MY GOSH I broke a nail and you messed up my hair now I have to do everything all over. Wait here" said Radditz. Ten days later Radditz is back and Goku did not move an inch. He is now a statue of mud. "Oh dear! Goodness gracious great balls of meatballs! My dearest beloved is now stone! I am so cruel to leave him now in this state of being. How could I have done such a thing? I must mourn the lost of my only brother. Oh why. Oh why did this happen. Oh well. Everyone (A/N: they stayed there too) looked at a state of disbelief. Goku breaks free of the mud and looks at Radditz all weird. "Umm.. Can I ask you something Radditz?" said Goku. "Sure thing bro." Said Radditz. They start bitch slapping again. "Why do you act so girly?" said Goku. "Because mumble mumble mumble." Radditz whispered hoarsely. "WHAT? I did not hear you. Said Goku. "Because whisper whisper" whispered Radditz. "Excuse me? What the fuck you saying? Just say it! Damn it!" yelled Goku. "Because I'm a girl you fucking idiot." Yelled Radditz. *Dreading song* don bom bommmm! * Everyone stops dead in their tracks. *Dramatic gesture! * "Oh no! I told my secret. Now I must run away! 


	11. Chapter 10

Sorry for not updating for awhile been to lazy and my partner doesn't know how to put a chapter up so I have to teach her well hope yah like this chapter please review.  
Chapter 10- secret love  
"Yo bro. I mean sis do not leave," said Goku. It was to late Radditz was gone. *Sniff sniff* "I loved him like a brother err.. I mean sister. *Boo hoo* (A/N: goku's still drunk) "Why oh why did I tell. Sniff," said Radditz. "Oh my gosh its that hot green dude." Piccolo sensed a familiar ki coming toward him. Hey isn't that Goku's brother thought piccolo. "BOOHOO," Radditz cried. "Why are you crying Raddish? "Because kakarot found out, I am a girl! Opps! Covers her mouth. I didn't mean to say that," said Radditz. "It's okay," said Piccolo. Inside piccolo said yes and started doing the victory dance. On the outside, he looked calm and expressionless. "Oh ummmm you want to smoke some weed with your nephew and me," said piccolo. "Sure," said Radditz.  
While they were smoking weed Goku was still standing there drunk wondering about what had happened. Where is chi chi and Gohan? What was happening? I don't remember a thing? Crapet! I have to apologize I must ask master Roshi what has been happening! Goku runs to the house and smashes the door. "MASTER ROOOOOSHI!!!!!" Goku called out. Master Roshi walks over to Goku with underwear over his head. "Yes dearest, sweet darling, what is it pumpkin pie, pumpkins, apple pie, cherry blossom.. Blah blah. After 16 hours* Master Roshi takes off the underwear to see Goku asleep on the floor. "Ummm.. Goku why are you here?" said Master Roshi. Before Master Roshi got a chance to slap him silly to wake him up Goku had grabbed him and mumbled some things. "Your so soft Mr. bear me squeeze you so tight," said Goku sleeping. Before you know it, Master Roshi cannot breathe turning blue and Goku starts kissing Mater Roshi.  
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`  
Hope yah liked this chapter please review thanks bye ; ) 


	12. Note

~~Note~~  
  
Hey people!!! My partner and I have not updated this thing for a while and I guess were not going to update anymore. We were thinking and we thought we should stop. BB and I (Bj) next year we aren't going to the same school and during the summer we wont see each other so were leaving our stories unfinished so I hope u like the story how it is and if you want to read my stories look for DuCksRVeRykOoL and if you want to check out BB's stories her pen name is hi3iyamiInuyashagoddess22. so look at our stories and hope you like our future stories that we make up on ours. 


End file.
